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Monkey Spanker

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The field for men's masturbators is a lot more sparse than what exists for women, without a lot of 'gold standards' a lot of very mediocre toys seem to get undue attention.   The Monkey Spanker would probably be completely overlooked were it not for the lack of good toys in this space.

To me the bar I measure most jack off toys is  The Fleshlight. I don't think I've had a toy deliver more consistently than The Fleshlight. The problem though with The Fleshlight is it's anything but discreet, and it's far from portable.

The Monkey Spanker is designed for portability. It's something that you could almost fit into your pocket and could easily be thrown in a backpack or suitcase for travel. The heart of the toy is a medical grade silicon telescoping entry.  Basically you penetrate the Monkey Spanker and then... well spank your monkey. Embedded in the handle of the Monkey Spanker is a vibrator which runs off two small button sized batteries.  It's this vibrator that is the key issue I have with this toy.

The button batteries are much more expensive to replace than standard 'aaa' batteries, they're also harder to find, so already the toy has a strike against it.  What's worse is that the two batteries hardly provide any power to the vibrator and so the intensity is very low. Where it's positioned the vibrator seems to vibrate the handle more than anything. Also I found the batteries to die or lose power within minutes. Truly one of the more pathetic vibrators I've EVER tested.

In terms of the rest of the toy I found that it needed to be heavily lubricated and while it didn't feel bad the toys design left me feeling like there was something really missing.   The orgasm I had with the Monkey Spanker ultimately wasn't all that bad, but with the poor vibrator and the lacking design I couldn't ever see using it again.

It's too bad, this category needs more great toys, and while I had hopes for The Monkey Spanker, it simply didn't deliver.


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