STICK YOUR DICK IN A FAKE BLACK HOLE

When I first pulled the Mr. Marcus Personal Fluffer Tight Pussy from its package, I laughed. What does it take to convince a man to shove his cock into this tight piece of whatever the fuck it is? Well, I had to review it and that tub of vaseline wasn't going to get used for any other purpose. Thus began my journey into slamming my cock into the Personal Fluffer. What threw me at first was how tiny the hole was on the pussy.

I've seen a number of pussies in my day and no hole was ever this small. So, I fucking slammed it like a black guy meeting one of the Kardashian girls. That's when I first saw the bubble. Apparently, the fluffer wasn't designed for just ramming your cock into it. That's when I saw the material start to form a bubble around my cock. So, I pulled out and reinserted. The second thrust pushed my junk all the way through the fluffer.

QUIT LAUGHING

So, there it was. My cock dangling from the opposite end of the Personal Fluffer. It looked like the worst Hostess snack food cake that you could ever imagine.
What's funny is that was also when I noticed my cock was stuck. So, there I was wondering where the pleasure went, as I thumbed through the other sex toys that XCritic sent me. Would my cock get stuck in the Mr. Marcus asshole looking thing? What about the mouth with the weird looking tongue thing?  These are the questions I have to ask myself now.

IT SMELLS LIKE A WET VINYL RECORD

The smell started to hit me about five minutes after use. The instructions say to use one of the lubes that Doc Johnson sells, but I said fuck that. I didn't buy all that lube at Costco for no reason. When whatever you use hits that material, it throws up this stench that smells like the Michelin Man is trying to give you a pearl necklace. That's really the only downside to the item.

The sex toy that stinks and it makes you giggle. Is that so bad? Not really. It's just that it could've been a little sexier.

HOW TO CARE FOR YOUR MOGWAI

What have we learned about the Personal Fluffer? It smells with lube, your cock might get stuck and you'll find the situation funny. Don't expect a lot and you'll do pretty well. But, that's the deal with a lot of shit. So, take that for what you will.